woke today with the morning light
could tell that something wasn't right
my baby vanished in the night
I try to call the feds, they don't respond
I drag for bodies in the pond
the tell-tale heart is beating through the floor
I search my place for missing things
the CIA is pulling strings
a $50,000 ransom note is at my door
there's nothing you can be certain of
except that even certain things are things
that never really can be certain anyhow
I'm paranoid, I watch my back
avoiding every sidewalk crack
I wouldn't want to break my mother's back now, ow
thanks a lot for the wrist watch mom
now tell me who you stole it from
and why's it t-t-ticking like a bomb?
I spent an afternoon down at the shore
now my skin's all pink & sore
so I ask the doctor "what is this disease?"
he says it soon should go away
& quickly bids me a good day
which means he's scare to touch me
cuz I'm full of STDs
there's nothing you can be certain of
except that even certain things are things
that never really can be certain anyhow
I'm paranoid, I knock on wood
cuz everything seems fine & good
& that's a perfect sign that something's wrong now
yeah I'm crossing fingers, throwing salt
cuz we are only what we're taught
& that's a perfect sign that something's wrong